Cakes And Ale

Here is a true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. The following dialog ensued:

Proctor: I beg your pardon?

Student: Sir, I request that you bring me Cakes and Ale.

Proctor: Sorry, no.

Student: Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring me Cakes and Ale.

At this point, the student produced a copy of the four hundred year old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and pointed to the section which read (rough translation from the Latin):

“Gentlemen sitting examinations may request and require Cakes and Ale”.

Pepsi and hamburgers were judged the modern equivalent, and the student sat there, writing his examination and happily slurping away. Three weeks later the student was fined five pounds for not wearing a sword to the examination.

Dead People And Credit Card

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is so priceless, and so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today.
A lady died this past January, and The Bank billed her for February March for their annual service charges on her credit card, added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance of $0, is now somewhere around $60. A Family Member placed a call to The Bank.

Here is the exchange:

Family Member : “I am calling to tell you she died in January.”
The Bank : “The account was never closed, and the late fees charges still apply.”
Family Member : “Maybe you should turn it over to collections.”
The Bank : “Since it is 2 months past due, it already has been.”
Family Member : “So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?”
The Bank : “Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau. Maybe both !”
Family Member : “Do you think God will be mad at her?” (I really liked this part !!!!)
The Bank : “Excuse me?”
Family Member : “Did you just get what I was telling you? The part about her being dead?”
The Bank : “Sir, you’ll have to speak to my supervisor.” !

(Supervisor gets on the phone)

Family Member : “I’m calling to tell you she died in January.”
The Bank : “The account was never closed, so the late fees and charges still apply.” (This must be a phrase taught by The Bank!)
Family Member : “Do you mean you want to collect from her estate?”
The Bank : (stammering) “Are you her lawyer?”
Family Member : “No, I’m her great-nephew.”
The Bank : “Could you fax us a certificate of death?”
Family Member : “Sure.” (fax number is given)

After they get the fax:

The Bank : “Our system just isn’t set up for death. I don’t know what more I can do to help.”
Family Member : “Well, if you figure it out, great ! If not, you could just keep billing her. I really don’t think she will care.”
The Bank : “Well, the late fees charges do still apply.”
(What is wrong with these people??!!)
Family Member : “Would you like her new billing address?”
The Bank : “Yes, that will help.”
Family Member : ” Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69.”
The Bank : “Sir, that is a cemetery!”

BoSs

A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead.
"I'm afraid he died last week." she explains.

The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss.
"I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."

The next day he calls again and once more asks to Speak to his boss.

By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts,

"I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND,
YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"

He replied laughing,
"I just love hearing it..."



Moral of the story, be nice to your staff.


p.s: don't ever send this to your boss ..!!!